Lyn has written and published articles on Buddhist Psychology, Mindfulness, Relationships and Parenting

 

Featured articles:

  1.  Becoming the Mindful Parent - Discover the Art of Peaceful Parenting.  
  2.  How Family Therapy can Help Children in Families.   
  3.  Getting Beyond Self: A Journey Into Buddhist Psychology
  4.   The Man in the Mirror: Who Am "I"
  5.    What Happened to "Us"? A story about changes in family dynamics following the birth of children
  6.  Mindful Parenting: In Search of the Happy Family

 

1.  Becoming the Mindful Parent - Discover the Art of Peaceful Parenting.

 

What is"Mindful Parenting"? Mindful Parenting is about being in sync or attuned to your child, to be able to read as best we can, the signals they are sending out to us. Researchers and practitioners believe that having a Mindful Parent allows the child to "feel felt" (Daniel Siegel) to be in the heart and mind of another, even when the other person is not physically present. The child is able to hold onto the image of that person, that attachment figure, in times of distress. This child instinctively knows that this "felt" other person is in tune with who the child is and what really matters to him.  This then helps cushion the child when they are alone, frightened, hurt or experiencing strong emotions, sensing that someone, somewhere is holding them in their heart and in their mind.


This capacity to hold another in one's heart and mind is what is believed to produce many important traits which will lead to that child becoming securely attached and resilient...

Download full article in PDF

 http://www.lynbenson.com.au/Becoming the Mindful Parent - Discover the Art of Peaceful Parenting.pdf

 

2.   HOW FAMILY THERAPY CAN HELP CHILDREN IN FAMILIES

 

What is Family Therapy?

Family Therapy is a framework that has been developed in which an individual is viewed as part of a whole system.  The individual (adult or child) is seen within the context of their environment, which includes their family constellation, their social network and their work or school setting.

 

How Family Dynamics Can Impact on Childrens' Behaviour

As a Psychologist and Family Therapist, I am often asked to see "problem" children or adolescents.  Children who are misbehaving at school or at home or adolescents who are engaging in "acting out" behaviours such as self harm or risk-taking behaviour, disrupting class or being rebellious.

  

How Can Family Therapy Help?

Family Therapists are practitioners who are trained to recognize patterns in family dynamics.  A Family Therapist can assess the situation, even without the whole family being present.  Talking with members of a family in distress can often begin to break unhelpful patterns that all families engage in from time to time.  A trained Family Therapist can begin to unravel these patterns of behaviour and help families understand their (often) automatic and (often) unhelpful responses to conflict and stress. 

 

Download full article in PDF formhttp://www.lynbenson.com.au/HOW FAMILY THERAPY CAN HELP CHILDREN IN FAMILIES.pdf

 

 

3.   Getting Beyond Self: A Journey into Buddhist Psychology

I started my family at a very young age, as one did in the early 1970's - get married - have children, no planning required.  I was a mother of two by the time I was 23 years old and by then, my own mother had died in a car accident.

What to do?  I thrashed around in anger, grief, fear and frustration for years.  Anger that my mother had been taken away (from ME) before her time and way before I was ready; fear and frustration at myself for not having a clue how to raise myself emotionally, let alone raise two children.

 

By the time my children were just starting school, I was lucky enough to be invited to join a Jungian dream interpretation group.  I was a member of this group for three years, during which time I became fascinated by and curious about my own internal and nocturnal world.  A journal evolved and I became acquainted and familiar with Archetypes, my "Shadow" side and the ideas of Anima and Animus which inhabit all of us..

 

And so my journey into the world of Mindfulness began

 

Download full Article in PDF  http://www.lynbenson.com.au/A Journey Into Buddhist Psychology.pdf

 

 

 

4.    THE MAN IN THE MIRROR: Who am "I"?

"I'm starting with the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways..." Michael Jackson "The Man in the Mirror" (1988)

 

When we look at the "...man in the mirror", who do we see?  Often we don't see anyone at all, just a quick glance can be enough to check makeup, hair in place and then out the door.  But who IS the man in the mirror?  If we actually take the time to look at the "me" in the mirror, we often don't like who we see.  Why?  Humans are hard wired to judge situations, and our reflections  are no exception.  However, judging is a normal and often appropriate response to a situation.  We judge situations constantly and instantly for their safety, such as the speed at which I will drive my car on a wet dark night, whether I need to attend a medical appointment, what is good for my body when it comes to meals and self care etc.   It is when we "attach" to our judgements and thoughts about ourselves "I'm stupid/lazy/selfish/irresponsible" etc that the "man in the mirror" becomes someone to avoid or neglect. 

 

Download full Article in PDF

http://www.lynbenson.com.au/The Man in The Mirror.pdf

   

 

 

5. WHAT HAPPENED TO US?

 Do you have a family with young children?

  • Has your relationship with your partner changed since becoming parents?
  • Were your expectations of what it means to be a parent different from the reality?
  • Does your partner think differently to you regarding parenting and roles in the family?

 

When a couple becomes a family, the dynamics in the relationship change forever.  That does not mean that the relationship necessarily becomes worse, but it does mean that the focus will go from just the couple onto what it means to be part of a family. The issues involved in becoming new parents are universal. However, there is very little written and even less discussed with new parents to prepare them for the changes that will take place in the couples relationship, once you become a family with children.

 

Download full Article in PDF

http://www.lynbenson.com.au/what happened to us.pdf

 

 

6.  MINDFUL PARENTING: IN SEARCH OF THE HAPPY FAMILY

 

"When the Navajo child asked her mother for counsel on a particular question, her mother said "Put it in your holy middle and sleep on it." Charlotte Kasl, "If the Buddha Married" 

 

In my Melbourne Psychology practice I have observed with growing concern the distress of parents who are trying to keep pace with the Western idea of having it all and doing it all "NOW". This idea has been perpetuated by a sophisticated and ever more psychologically aware advertising and marketing world who prey on our emotions to get sales.

 

With more and more families relying on Day Care to replace extended family for child minding when both parents are working, families can feel isolated and desperate to provide the best they can for their new families.



Download full Article in PDF

 

/usersitesv37/lynbenson.com.au/wwwroot/Mindful Parenting In Search of The Happy Family.pdf